...thanks to you too brother...you are a health and mindset inspiration...so devoted and motivated by and to the good life...maybe if we called screens asses everyone would get their heads out of them?...in the meantime i consider a win every time i find myself undistracted and in the moment...where else could i be...(lots of places lol, and most of them valueless)...i think the drive, and the great win, is how close can we push our lives towards every moment being meaningful...that is the quest...but quests sometime require long car rides (which require distraction...maybe...)...peace and alohahaha bud...
I love every word of that CansaFis, especially this: “I consider it a win every time I find myself undistracted and in the moment.” That is absolutely a win. I need to get my head out of my phone more too. The quest is good work. Thanks so much for reading and your support pal, means the world to me. Always love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts.
Loved the message, Jack. Especially when you included anecdotes on the community in other cultures, it made me wonder: in what way is community tied to ritual? Because we've certainly lost our rituals and seen a sense of community deteriorate as well. Fighting back, it seems, will be quiet and individual and unsexy but oh-so-important.
Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comment buddy.
I’ve been thinking more about rituals lately. Routines over rituals on an individual level. And rituals that tie communities together. I agree and think we’ve lost both. Or are in the process of doing so. But we can, on the level of our lives, revolt against the loss of community by taking the lead and building a community around ourselves and the things we love. By doing so, you will enrich your life and the lives of everyone around you.
In the spirit of this post, I just cold approached a young woman at the coffee shop I'm working at. She was receptive and nice, but seemed uncomfortable in the convo
Thanks, gents. What’s the pathless path community all about? Haven’t read the book but been considering it lately. Seems very applicable to where I am and what I’m doing right now.
I'll admit I haven't finished the book myself but I've been following Paul for a while and when he launched the community I joined shortly after and that's where Chris and I met. He even made the trip to Barcelona for a visit just a few weeks ago.
It's a cool group of people, everyone is either already off the default path or trying to find ways to get off the default path so you have people at all different levels.
I also like the "Pay-What-Feels-Right" policy rather than having to fork up thousands of dollars to be part of a community.
We always say good morning to everyone on our morning walk or ride on our amazing neighbourhood bike paths. We're determined to keep engaging with people. It's a think in this community to say good morning but you know when it's tourist season - lots of blank stares. However, we think it is important to maintain the friendliness of this place.
I love that, Robyn. I aspire to have the same friendly community as you. I think the community you live in really matters. But most of us don’t realize that we have more autonomy and ability to create that community than we think. Maintaining, or building better yet, a friendly community is something I want to dedicate more of my time to, especially when I settle somewhere.
Haha it's the same here in Canada for the most part! But you get the odd person who ignores your hello/good morning... I think it's partially an issue stemming from technology use.
And Robyn, I didn't know you were in Australia! It's on my list to make it there eventually... would love to go for a coffee or walk when I find my way there :)
Thanks for making my life better too Jack! Excited to see how you'll get involved with and develop community around you. This is a topic that's constantly top of mind for me. Looking forward to how things play out over the years!
Thanks so much for reading, Jordan. I know we’ve talked about community before offline and it’s a topic that we both deeply value. Excited for both of us as we carve our own paths.
I'm loving being alongside you on your thoughtful and heartfelt journey. It's one thing to live from the heart, but when that is combined with the capacity to apply discipline and intentionality, to make commitments to oneself and keep them, that is an extraordinary life in the making. And that's what I'm witnessing in you Jack. Very happy to be part of your expanding community.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, Rick. Having you on my side, and apart of the same community, means so much to me. I love this: living from the heart with discipline and intentionality. That is something I can certainly live by.
Love this message - community (esp local community) is something we are losing so quickly, yet it's probably one of the most fulfilling things to engage in .... and not just because evolutionarily, community was our social structure, but also because it's just fun
Thanks so much for dropping in to read and comment, Zan -- I appreciate it. Completely agree on all points. We evolved to be in a community. And we still need it today to live the most joyful, fun, and fulfilling version of our lives.
And while some digital communities can be great, like Substack, it still pales in comparison to in-person communities.
Jack, I look up to you when it comes to engaging with others in a sincere and inspiring way. I love how you're thinking about starting communities. When you do start one (or plan on starting one), I'd love to hear from you and maybe learn something from your experiences. Continue bringing positive energy wherever you go!
Thank you so much, Linart. Your words mean a lot. I'm so happy to be apart of the same community of writers as you -- Substack is the the warmest place to be on the Internet and the closest thing you can get to genuine connections without being in-person. I will certainly share how I end up getting more involved in community and I hope you will do the same.
Appreciate you showing up here with such thoughtful words.
It always surprises me to see how warm and welcoming this community else - but it says a lot about the people who are a part of it. Excited to read more about community-related stuff from you! (and to see you engage in it even more)
I really hope Substack is able to maintain this platform for a long while. Some of the new features (like adding videos to Notes) concerns me as it might dilute the quality of conversation on here. But I am hopeful. It's a great place to be for now so have to embrace that!
That's true. What gives me hope is really the quality of the people. The users have the power to influence the platform, so when some features aren't nourishing to the experience, I think it's where our voices matter most.
Really enjoyed this Jack. Thanks for writing it! I can vouch for the wonder of volunteering. When I began coaching youth sports in my local community, I found a connection to the kids and to the community that I hadn't before. I've also observed that volunteering has expanded my identity beyond just my work. Contrast this to how my identity shrinks when I obsess and stress out over my work. Embedding myself within a community has been a wonderful antidote to the issue of productivity that you point to. I look forward to hearing about your own quest for community.
Thank you, Jeremy! I really appreciate you reading and your kind, thoughtful comment here. Your experience is a testament to the power of community and volunteering as a viable way to insert yourself into a rewarding network. So much wisdom embedded in your words about your “identity shrinking” when you’re too wrapped up in work. Your experience inspires and motivates me to create an enriching community once I settle somewhere. Thank you, Jeremy.
Jack, what a post. Such essentialism in here. It reminded me of a distinction I discovered several years ago, that being routine vs. ritual. A lot of our lives are spent in “routines” but routines if approached as “rituals” involve a presence, a sacredness. When we can extend ourselves into community as you suggest, it’s important that our community not devolve into a routine, but that we connect with others with a sense of sacredness and presence.
Just thought I would add that to the mix of comments triggered by your thoughtful essay.
Oh, and one more and most important thing. I’m deeply grateful for our connection Jack and your contribution to me. I look forward to meeting you someday!
As am I deeply grateful for you. Idaho is creeping higher on my list of states I most want to visit so hopefully I can make it out soon and we can go for a hike and coffee. That would be lovely.
Jack, that would be awesome. We have a new apartment above our garage with a separate entrance and...a writing desk. Think of it as a retreat location anytime you want to come. And hiking is 1/2 mile down the road. I can't wait!
Thanks so much for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment here, James. Means so much to me to be apart of the same community as you. The distinction between routines and rituals came up in another comment here — I love that you brought it up as well. The idea of approaching repeated daily acts as rituals rather than routines is appealing to me. Especially for the sense of sacredness and presence that a ritual delivers, as you mentioned.
You make such a wise point about not letting our community interactions degrade into a sense of routine. Thank you for that, it’s not something I thought of.
As always, I appreciate you showing up and sharing your thoughts — I always value what you have to say.
Love this piece, and your commitment to community. It's honestly been the best part of Substack—by far—meeting you, Rick, Miche, James, CansaFis, Tommy, and reading all of your work. I'm truly inspired by your commitment to community, both on- and offline. We're all so enriched by that. Looking forward to seeing where work and life take you next.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Rob. That's the power of combining writing with the internet: you meet others you would of never had the chance of meeting that can enrich your life by a factor of ten. And hopefully our paths will cross in person one day so we can go for a ruck, workout, or coffee. Excited to see where life goes next for both of us.
Thanks for covering this topic, Jack. It's an important one. I'll be soon wrapped up with an article on the importance of community to our wellbeing and how we've gotten to our current state of affairs.
Glad we connected here on Substack. Empathize with your scenario of not having a fixed dwelling and how that impacts in-person community-building.
Thanks so much for reading, Niall! Glad we are connected. Please send that article over once it’s published, would love to give it a read. Not having a set dwelling certainly has an impact. But at 25, I have lots of life ahead of me to settle down and build up a community. I’m more than happy to “settle” for this online community of amazing writers that comes with me wherever I go—so lucky to be involved with interesting, intelligent, and kind people like you on Substack.
This hit me, Jack. And it reminded me of a piece I wrote about thin trust connections inspired by the work of Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone). Sharing it here to continue the conversation.
We just got back from yet another Stammtisch night with our relatively new friends. The concept is simple and effective: at the same time every week, they make food and people drop by to eat and talk. Seems to be a good model for building community. So far it’s been more effective than the occasional board gaming groups I’ve been connected to.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Matt. I haven’t heard the term “Stammtisch night” before but I love the concept. It’s lovely you’ve found that outlet as a way to connect with your community. You’ve inspired me to look for, or create, a similar event in my own area.
Appreciate you reading and showing up in the comments here. Thank you.
Awesome essay Jack and something that rings true for me in a big city. I’ve tried a few different groups in Boston but haven’t found one that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Have debated starting a surfing group just to meet other people out of the water. This is giving me the push to finally do it!
Thanks, Bennett — appreciate the kind words pal! It’s definitely a trial and error game. Takes a while to find your people. A surfing group is a great idea. If you give it a try, let me know. Would love to hear how it went and gain some inspiration for starting a similar group in my own area. Connecting with others over a shared passion is a great way to go.
I joined a men's soccer league as a free agent. My roommate found two young adult bible study groups and pulled me in. Glad he did. And I invited my neighbor to go on a few bike rides last year and now we're going turkey hunting next month.
Building IRL community is hard, but very doable. Takes a a year or two to find the others.
I love that, Chris. Thanks so much for sharing. An inspiration for me to do the same in my life. Really looking forward to building an in-person community once I'm settled down in one place for longer than one month. I just have to make sure I actually do it once I am in the position to.
Going first and asking, as you demonstrated, seems to be key. You can't be afraid to go first in asking people to get together to go do something. Life's too short to be scared of rejection.
Thanks for reading and showing up in the comments. I appreciate you.
...thanks to you too brother...you are a health and mindset inspiration...so devoted and motivated by and to the good life...maybe if we called screens asses everyone would get their heads out of them?...in the meantime i consider a win every time i find myself undistracted and in the moment...where else could i be...(lots of places lol, and most of them valueless)...i think the drive, and the great win, is how close can we push our lives towards every moment being meaningful...that is the quest...but quests sometime require long car rides (which require distraction...maybe...)...peace and alohahaha bud...
I love every word of that CansaFis, especially this: “I consider it a win every time I find myself undistracted and in the moment.” That is absolutely a win. I need to get my head out of my phone more too. The quest is good work. Thanks so much for reading and your support pal, means the world to me. Always love reading your comments and hearing your thoughts.
Loved the message, Jack. Especially when you included anecdotes on the community in other cultures, it made me wonder: in what way is community tied to ritual? Because we've certainly lost our rituals and seen a sense of community deteriorate as well. Fighting back, it seems, will be quiet and individual and unsexy but oh-so-important.
Great essay (:
Thanks for reading and for your thoughtful comment buddy.
I’ve been thinking more about rituals lately. Routines over rituals on an individual level. And rituals that tie communities together. I agree and think we’ve lost both. Or are in the process of doing so. But we can, on the level of our lives, revolt against the loss of community by taking the lead and building a community around ourselves and the things we love. By doing so, you will enrich your life and the lives of everyone around you.
YES! Love this. I think we lose so much when we lose our rituals. I wrote about this in the fall and also how to create new rituals. https://thesundaystretch.substack.com/p/the-transformative-power-of-rituals
It's behind the paywall now, but I have Boost/Teasers on so you should be able to see it. If not, let me know and I'll send it to you.
Thanks so much for sharing, Kelly! Will check it out. I really want to be more intentional about rituals over routines so this is very timely for me.
"strangers are so caught off guard when I say hi on walks or in the elevator that they don’t even reply"
This is hilarious
It's true too... and sad. I sometimes get looked at like a crazy person just for trying to be friendly. Oh well.
In the spirit of this post, I just cold approached a young woman at the coffee shop I'm working at. She was receptive and nice, but seemed uncomfortable in the convo
I concur
She seemed cool so i shook her hand said "My name's Chris"
She didn't tell me her name.
Sounds like Jack would be a good addition to Pathless Path community, wutcha think Chris?
Thanks, gents. What’s the pathless path community all about? Haven’t read the book but been considering it lately. Seems very applicable to where I am and what I’m doing right now.
I'll admit I haven't finished the book myself but I've been following Paul for a while and when he launched the community I joined shortly after and that's where Chris and I met. He even made the trip to Barcelona for a visit just a few weeks ago.
It's a cool group of people, everyone is either already off the default path or trying to find ways to get off the default path so you have people at all different levels.
I also like the "Pay-What-Feels-Right" policy rather than having to fork up thousands of dollars to be part of a community.
Here's the link if you wanna check it out: https://pathlesspath.com/membership/
We always say good morning to everyone on our morning walk or ride on our amazing neighbourhood bike paths. We're determined to keep engaging with people. It's a think in this community to say good morning but you know when it's tourist season - lots of blank stares. However, we think it is important to maintain the friendliness of this place.
I love that, Robyn. I aspire to have the same friendly community as you. I think the community you live in really matters. But most of us don’t realize that we have more autonomy and ability to create that community than we think. Maintaining, or building better yet, a friendly community is something I want to dedicate more of my time to, especially when I settle somewhere.
Thanks for showing up in the comments, Robyn :)
This reminds me of this hilarious IG reel: https://www.instagram.com/p/CnwA52GoNP5/
Haha Brian. Just how it is on our Aussie path. We just say ‘bloody tourists’ don’t know the rules.
Haha it's the same here in Canada for the most part! But you get the odd person who ignores your hello/good morning... I think it's partially an issue stemming from technology use.
And Robyn, I didn't know you were in Australia! It's on my list to make it there eventually... would love to go for a coffee or walk when I find my way there :)
You would be most welcome Jack. We live by the beach just north of Byron Bay. Pretty special.
Thanks for reading and sharing Brian!
Thanks for making my life better too Jack! Excited to see how you'll get involved with and develop community around you. This is a topic that's constantly top of mind for me. Looking forward to how things play out over the years!
Thanks so much for reading, Jordan. I know we’ve talked about community before offline and it’s a topic that we both deeply value. Excited for both of us as we carve our own paths.
I'm loving being alongside you on your thoughtful and heartfelt journey. It's one thing to live from the heart, but when that is combined with the capacity to apply discipline and intentionality, to make commitments to oneself and keep them, that is an extraordinary life in the making. And that's what I'm witnessing in you Jack. Very happy to be part of your expanding community.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, Rick. Having you on my side, and apart of the same community, means so much to me. I love this: living from the heart with discipline and intentionality. That is something I can certainly live by.
Love this message - community (esp local community) is something we are losing so quickly, yet it's probably one of the most fulfilling things to engage in .... and not just because evolutionarily, community was our social structure, but also because it's just fun
Thanks so much for dropping in to read and comment, Zan -- I appreciate it. Completely agree on all points. We evolved to be in a community. And we still need it today to live the most joyful, fun, and fulfilling version of our lives.
And while some digital communities can be great, like Substack, it still pales in comparison to in-person communities.
Jack, I look up to you when it comes to engaging with others in a sincere and inspiring way. I love how you're thinking about starting communities. When you do start one (or plan on starting one), I'd love to hear from you and maybe learn something from your experiences. Continue bringing positive energy wherever you go!
Thank you so much, Linart. Your words mean a lot. I'm so happy to be apart of the same community of writers as you -- Substack is the the warmest place to be on the Internet and the closest thing you can get to genuine connections without being in-person. I will certainly share how I end up getting more involved in community and I hope you will do the same.
Appreciate you showing up here with such thoughtful words.
It always surprises me to see how warm and welcoming this community else - but it says a lot about the people who are a part of it. Excited to read more about community-related stuff from you! (and to see you engage in it even more)
I really hope Substack is able to maintain this platform for a long while. Some of the new features (like adding videos to Notes) concerns me as it might dilute the quality of conversation on here. But I am hopeful. It's a great place to be for now so have to embrace that!
That's true. What gives me hope is really the quality of the people. The users have the power to influence the platform, so when some features aren't nourishing to the experience, I think it's where our voices matter most.
Really enjoyed this Jack. Thanks for writing it! I can vouch for the wonder of volunteering. When I began coaching youth sports in my local community, I found a connection to the kids and to the community that I hadn't before. I've also observed that volunteering has expanded my identity beyond just my work. Contrast this to how my identity shrinks when I obsess and stress out over my work. Embedding myself within a community has been a wonderful antidote to the issue of productivity that you point to. I look forward to hearing about your own quest for community.
Thank you, Jeremy! I really appreciate you reading and your kind, thoughtful comment here. Your experience is a testament to the power of community and volunteering as a viable way to insert yourself into a rewarding network. So much wisdom embedded in your words about your “identity shrinking” when you’re too wrapped up in work. Your experience inspires and motivates me to create an enriching community once I settle somewhere. Thank you, Jeremy.
Jack, what a post. Such essentialism in here. It reminded me of a distinction I discovered several years ago, that being routine vs. ritual. A lot of our lives are spent in “routines” but routines if approached as “rituals” involve a presence, a sacredness. When we can extend ourselves into community as you suggest, it’s important that our community not devolve into a routine, but that we connect with others with a sense of sacredness and presence.
Just thought I would add that to the mix of comments triggered by your thoughtful essay.
Oh, and one more and most important thing. I’m deeply grateful for our connection Jack and your contribution to me. I look forward to meeting you someday!
As am I deeply grateful for you. Idaho is creeping higher on my list of states I most want to visit so hopefully I can make it out soon and we can go for a hike and coffee. That would be lovely.
Jack, that would be awesome. We have a new apartment above our garage with a separate entrance and...a writing desk. Think of it as a retreat location anytime you want to come. And hiking is 1/2 mile down the road. I can't wait!
Thank you so much for the kind offer of hospitality, I hope I can take you up on it soon. Sounds like a lovely getaway.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment here, James. Means so much to me to be apart of the same community as you. The distinction between routines and rituals came up in another comment here — I love that you brought it up as well. The idea of approaching repeated daily acts as rituals rather than routines is appealing to me. Especially for the sense of sacredness and presence that a ritual delivers, as you mentioned.
You make such a wise point about not letting our community interactions degrade into a sense of routine. Thank you for that, it’s not something I thought of.
As always, I appreciate you showing up and sharing your thoughts — I always value what you have to say.
Love this piece, and your commitment to community. It's honestly been the best part of Substack—by far—meeting you, Rick, Miche, James, CansaFis, Tommy, and reading all of your work. I'm truly inspired by your commitment to community, both on- and offline. We're all so enriched by that. Looking forward to seeing where work and life take you next.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Rob. That's the power of combining writing with the internet: you meet others you would of never had the chance of meeting that can enrich your life by a factor of ten. And hopefully our paths will cross in person one day so we can go for a ruck, workout, or coffee. Excited to see where life goes next for both of us.
Thanks for covering this topic, Jack. It's an important one. I'll be soon wrapped up with an article on the importance of community to our wellbeing and how we've gotten to our current state of affairs.
Glad we connected here on Substack. Empathize with your scenario of not having a fixed dwelling and how that impacts in-person community-building.
Thanks so much for reading, Niall! Glad we are connected. Please send that article over once it’s published, would love to give it a read. Not having a set dwelling certainly has an impact. But at 25, I have lots of life ahead of me to settle down and build up a community. I’m more than happy to “settle” for this online community of amazing writers that comes with me wherever I go—so lucky to be involved with interesting, intelligent, and kind people like you on Substack.
You bet! I appreciate your positive lens on the connections you’ve built online. I’ve had a similar experience.
This hit me, Jack. And it reminded me of a piece I wrote about thin trust connections inspired by the work of Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone). Sharing it here to continue the conversation.
https://open.substack.com/pub/kathekon/p/thin-trust-piazza?r=7j6pb&utm_medium=ios
Thanks so much for reading, Jeremy. I’m glad to hear this piece resonated. Going to check out your post now, thanks for sharing!
We just got back from yet another Stammtisch night with our relatively new friends. The concept is simple and effective: at the same time every week, they make food and people drop by to eat and talk. Seems to be a good model for building community. So far it’s been more effective than the occasional board gaming groups I’ve been connected to.
Thanks so much for sharing this, Matt. I haven’t heard the term “Stammtisch night” before but I love the concept. It’s lovely you’ve found that outlet as a way to connect with your community. You’ve inspired me to look for, or create, a similar event in my own area.
Appreciate you reading and showing up in the comments here. Thank you.
Awesome essay Jack and something that rings true for me in a big city. I’ve tried a few different groups in Boston but haven’t found one that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Have debated starting a surfing group just to meet other people out of the water. This is giving me the push to finally do it!
Thanks, Bennett — appreciate the kind words pal! It’s definitely a trial and error game. Takes a while to find your people. A surfing group is a great idea. If you give it a try, let me know. Would love to hear how it went and gain some inspiration for starting a similar group in my own area. Connecting with others over a shared passion is a great way to go.
Will do man!
Such an important message, thanks Jack!
Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment, Katy :) Glad that this resonated!
I joined a men's soccer league as a free agent. My roommate found two young adult bible study groups and pulled me in. Glad he did. And I invited my neighbor to go on a few bike rides last year and now we're going turkey hunting next month.
Building IRL community is hard, but very doable. Takes a a year or two to find the others.
I love that, Chris. Thanks so much for sharing. An inspiration for me to do the same in my life. Really looking forward to building an in-person community once I'm settled down in one place for longer than one month. I just have to make sure I actually do it once I am in the position to.
Going first and asking, as you demonstrated, seems to be key. You can't be afraid to go first in asking people to get together to go do something. Life's too short to be scared of rejection.
Thanks for reading and showing up in the comments. I appreciate you.