Love this, Jack. Our stories so often hinder us—until we notice them. It's such a valuable thing to keep remembering. I'm very interested in that podcast about bad therapy—will check it out. Always so happy to see and read your posts. 🙏
Thanks so much, Rob. So happy to hear you enjoyed this one. Noticing the story we are telling ourselves is the first, most important step. I think you will really enjoy that podcast, especially as Dad. If you end up listening, please let me know your thoughts. Always delighted to have you read and leave such thoughtful comments on my writing -- it's a blessing.
Candace Pert wrote a book, "The Molecules of Emotion" that talks about how your brain dictates your feelings, not the other way around. And backs it up with science. Fascinating stuff.
You should also add Coherence by Prof Alan Watkins on the role of the heart in emotions. I am digging deep into Emotional Fitness and the function of heart physiology.
The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale, was a lifesaver for me, as well as evidence through practice of the power our minds have over so, so much in our lives. I used to self talk “I will have an excellent day” over and over early in the morning prior to heading out to face the world (seemed a little mumbo jumbo hocus pocus at first) but I most often did! Even recently, taking 12 + hour direct flights, I created an excited, appreciative, positive mindset towards what has previously been an excruciating experience. Lo and behold, the flights have been more than tolerable, have passed quickly as I embraced the experience as a great opportunity to be blessed with. You are so right, Jack! The approach we take towards life’s challenges are integral to how we experience them. The mind is indeed the most powerful tool we possess, for better or worse.
Thanks for sharing, Dad. You have always been a big influence on me, reminding me of the power between my ears, the importance of my attitude, and how the outlook I choose to have will shape the world around me. Reality is largely what you choose to make it and I think as a society we have fallen into making it about all of the problems and trauma and tragedy we have. Writing this was an important reminder to me that I am in the drivers seat. I choose my mentality. And most times when something isn't going well in my life, it's because I'm telling myself a poor or disempowering story.
I think it's key to reframe from "I have anxiety/depression/X label" to "I am EXPERIENCING this anxiety/a depression."
"I have" can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tightness in the chest is something I've experienced as well. When we are anxious, we tense and clench. Recently, I heard Joe Hudson suggest keeping your attention in your feet. When I do this it reduces my anxiety level immediately. Another powerful tool (for many things) is Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I own a Truvaga and recommend. Also immediate benefits and no side effects.
Sounds like you're already doing breathwork. Kundalini yoga, specifically spinal energy series, is one I do 2-4 times per week, because I like it. Balances endocrine system, and great for the back.
Another cool thing is 30+ second hugs. I'd be curious, if the chest tightness/shortness of breath happens, what would be the effect of a 1 minute hug. Even with a tree. Yes I've done this, and it feels great.
Chris, these recommendations and strategies are fantastic. Thank you. Noted them all down for exploration. Your point on reframing it from "I have" to "I am experiencing" is also great. Totally agree on that message. I've recently come across the idea of 6+ second hugs -- but I bet that extending it to 30+ seconds would also help.
This comment is a wealth of knowledge and experiments to try. Thanks so much for sharing. Excited to play with this next time *I'm experiencing* anxiety/stress.
Our self-stories are so sneaky. Thanks for sharing your personal way of navigating it.
Stories and mindsets are things I write about a lot, too, because I'm so interested in the way the mind latches onto them and reshapes our entire existence.
I'm really into the work of Alia Crum for this exact reason. She's at Stanford and studies how specific positive mindsets can heal us and propel us forward -- even when we're in really bad spots. Linking her profile here: https://profiles.stanford.edu/alia-crum
Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Rose. You are so right that the stories we latch onto shape our existence. Great point. Excited to follow along your work!
Will check out Alia as well. Hadn’t heard of her before so I greatly appreciate you sharing her name. Thanks again for reading and dropping in the comments here!
Anxiety is a tricky thing. There’s so much stress in today’s world, it’s difficult not to be anxious. Just read that A-Fib is becoming an issue for younger people. Diagnosis is not always easy for either.
Great point, Anthony -- there are a lot of things in the world that can stress us out. For that reason, I'm extremely particular about my inputs: never watch the news, stay off social media, avoid people who are heavy consumers of the two. That's scary if A-fib is being caused by stress and anxiety -- I hadn't heard about that. Diagnosis is important for genuinely inflicted individuals, but diagnosing too early can be deadly as labelling someone's problems often strips away their sense of influence or control over them. And far too often diagnosis leads to unnecessary medication.
Thanks so much for reading and showing up in the comments here Anthony, I greatly appreciate and value your thoughts.
I’m not suggesting that stress or anxiety are the cause of A-Fib, but certainly could be contributing factors! But, we should know that we all need to relax more! Life is too short to be a tight as banjo string!
No matter the cause, certainly unfortunate if there’s an uptick in A-fib whatever the cause. Completely agree with that: life is far far too short. Have to loosen up and remember that if we aren’t having fun and enjoying ourselves to some degree, something needs to change. Or what are we here for!
So much good info to cogitate upon.. for myself, it’s been helpful (and this has been only for the past 3 or 4 years)to become “comfortable” with my own tears. Cathartic and allowing me to “reframe” whatever set me off. ✌️
I love that you found a strategy that works for you -- thanks for sharing! I completely agree that learning to be comfortable with the sensations your body is experiencing is key. When I can't get a full breath, my tendency is to ignore it and push on. But accepting and acknowledging it has been a much better approach in successfully managing feelings of stress.
Greatly appreciate you reading and leaving a comment here!
Good morning Jack! Such perspective and wisdom in today’s essay. Our bodies can tell us so much more than our brains can comprehend. And as you point out, our job is to become adept at listening, inquiring, and re-listening.
“Now when my chest tightens and my breath shortens in response to stress and uncertainty, I see it as a signal coming from my body rather than my brain. …And ask myself kind questions to understand what it is telling me.”
Thanks so much for your readership and continued support and insights, James. Means a lot to me. On a podcast the other day, I head this bit of information: "the human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, yet the conscious mind seems to be able to process only 50 bits per second." Our bodies contain ancient wisdom that we have largely lost touch with. Leaning into and listening to their whispers is an incredibly valuable skill. One that I am slowly honing, I hope.
Thanks again for showing up in the comments and have a lovely Thursday!
Love how you reframed those internal dialogues. I can relate to this, improving my self talk the past few years has led to significant growth. Thanks for sharing Jack!
Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words, Brian. How we speak to ourselves matters so much. And the words we select are a critical part of that self talk. Change the inner monologue and you can open up new possibilities for your life — it’s something I try to work on every day, though I’m sure I still limit myself in ways I don’t realize.
So so important to talk about this Jack, thank you for writing about it! I completely agree. The stories we define for ourselves become the story we actually live. So we have to be very careful about how we see ourselves and our situation. This was a good reminder for me, especially with all the challenges that came this week.
Thanks for reading and dropping in the comments Linart! Glad to hear this one resonated… it’s a reminder I need often too. The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, it’s a lesson worth cementing in our head.
I've recently been reading this book called Psycho Cybernetics. The book talks a lot about shaping our self image. One of the exercises is to spend 30 minutes visualizing yourself reaching your goal. Tried it for 5 mins and I felt a lot more confident after! I think this is exactly what your ideas are saying.
Visualization is also extremely powerful... that's a great reminder for me as it's not a tool I've used much over the last couple years. Thanks for the nudge, going to start reintegrating that tool into my life. Especially for long runs.
I agree about the importance of mindset regarding health. I think mindset is one of the biggest influences on health. It's like those cases you hear about people who believe so strongly they are sick that their bodies react accordingly. It is not to say that mindset can alleviate actual illnesses necessarily, but it certainly can play a part in recovery and adjusting your mood and feelings. What a really interesting piece you have here, Jack! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, Bethel! As you point out, the power of our mindset cannot be understated. The better we learn to control it and channel a stronger internal monologue, the better off we will be mentally, emotionally, and physically.
After studying NLP back in the 1990s, I am well aware of how language matters. I have always thought that I don't get sick, I don't have time for it. And I don't. My doctor is always wanting me to get flu injections and I have refused because I don't get sick.
I love that Robyn and I completely agree. Though it may sound "woo woo," I believe that changing your mindset towards illness and disease from the common cold to cancer can have a real, tangible impact on your physical health as well as you mental and emotional health, of course. Although I'm no doctor so I don't know much about the flu injections part :)
Thanks so much for reading and leaving your 2 cents!
For me you've said the most important thing in your subtitle. "Is your story hindering you or helping you?"
Early in our relationship my wife and I stumbled on a movie based on Tom Stoppard's work called "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead." It's an absurdist comedy that in many ways makes no sense, but a lot of no-sense at the same time. I remember it as a shift in our relationship because it properly bent out of shape our belief in "truth". We were transported into a framework of, "It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us. We've been making up the story that works for us in relationship ever since. I think that's a pretty good definition of mental health, as long as what you make up isn't harming anybody else.
"...Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that what is taken to be true. It's the currency дf living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
This is gold, Rick: “"It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us.”
I also love how you applied this to relationships because I was thinking about all of this from an individual point of view. But the stories you tell as a couple in your relationship is just as important. Truth is only what is taken to be true is another great reminder. Besides the laws of physics, you get to decide what’s true in your life.
Greatly appreciate getting your insights and views and reactions to my writing. It’s insanely valuable and I am lucky to hear your stories, experiences, and wisdom.
I love your addition of "besides the laws of physics" - an important caveat. But I've also heard a few stories about some pretty unusual dudes I got to spend time around when traveling in India that who seemed to have successfully challenged some of the usual story/laws of physics as well.
I suppose elevated physical fitness can make you less susceptible to the laws of physics… ever so slightly. You have very much piqued my interest though. How did they challenge these universal laws?
As I read through this, I thought “I bet Jack would like the book Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier” and then saw your Notes about it being inspired by her podcast episode. I really appreciated this one, Jack. It also reminded me of a running jokey wife and I started with another couple about “the stories we tell ourselves”. While it’s an inside joke, your essay made me chuckle thinking about it.
Makes me so happy this struck a chord with an inside joke — that’s beautiful, thanks for sharing Jeremy.
That podcast was filled with insights for me. I should think about reading her entire book because from listening to her speak, it seems like she has a lot of important but unpopular opinions. Would 100% read this before I become a dad which is a ways down the line.
Thanks so much for reading and showing up here in the comments, Jeremy. Means a ton to me that you find some value in these posts.
Completely agree. If anything, the unpopular points--granted they are sound, logically structured, and have the stats to back them up--are more worth listening to because they aren't the ideas we've been conditioned to believe in.
There's the saying that if all of your beliefs are socially accepted or not disagreeable to someone, then you have no beliefs of your own but have just been conditioned by news and the media (something like that, I'm paraphrasing on memory).
Great essay Jack. I totally agree on the importance of labels—if we self diagnose, that label can become part of our identity and everything begins to feel like evidence confirming our diagnosis. I’ve been trying to be more precise with the language I use, being aware of how much thought affects words but words also affect thought.
Also great spiky point of view. Taking a stand and not mincing words. Love it.
Thanks for your support pal. “Spiky point of view and not mincing words” are high compliments… something I should strive for more in my writing.
Completely agree with everything you said there. And you said it well. Labels and language matter a lot. The words we use in our own heads matter a lot.
Thanks again pal for reading and dropping in the comments here. Appreciate you.
Love this, Jack. Our stories so often hinder us—until we notice them. It's such a valuable thing to keep remembering. I'm very interested in that podcast about bad therapy—will check it out. Always so happy to see and read your posts. 🙏
Thanks so much, Rob. So happy to hear you enjoyed this one. Noticing the story we are telling ourselves is the first, most important step. I think you will really enjoy that podcast, especially as Dad. If you end up listening, please let me know your thoughts. Always delighted to have you read and leave such thoughtful comments on my writing -- it's a blessing.
I've said it for years. Pick your thoughts, pick your life. Our mind is a powerful tool.
Couldn't agree more Anne. Simple as that.
Thanks so much for reading and showing up in the comments :)
Candace Pert wrote a book, "The Molecules of Emotion" that talks about how your brain dictates your feelings, not the other way around. And backs it up with science. Fascinating stuff.
You should also add Coherence by Prof Alan Watkins on the role of the heart in emotions. I am digging deep into Emotional Fitness and the function of heart physiology.
Added! Thanks, Robyn. "Emotional Fitness" is a great term. Would love to hear more if you plan to write about it.
Added to my book list, thank you for the recommendation! Sounds very interesting and relevant.
The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale, was a lifesaver for me, as well as evidence through practice of the power our minds have over so, so much in our lives. I used to self talk “I will have an excellent day” over and over early in the morning prior to heading out to face the world (seemed a little mumbo jumbo hocus pocus at first) but I most often did! Even recently, taking 12 + hour direct flights, I created an excited, appreciative, positive mindset towards what has previously been an excruciating experience. Lo and behold, the flights have been more than tolerable, have passed quickly as I embraced the experience as a great opportunity to be blessed with. You are so right, Jack! The approach we take towards life’s challenges are integral to how we experience them. The mind is indeed the most powerful tool we possess, for better or worse.
Thanks for sharing, Dad. You have always been a big influence on me, reminding me of the power between my ears, the importance of my attitude, and how the outlook I choose to have will shape the world around me. Reality is largely what you choose to make it and I think as a society we have fallen into making it about all of the problems and trauma and tragedy we have. Writing this was an important reminder to me that I am in the drivers seat. I choose my mentality. And most times when something isn't going well in my life, it's because I'm telling myself a poor or disempowering story.
Nice. Thanks for sharing, Jack.
I think it's key to reframe from "I have anxiety/depression/X label" to "I am EXPERIENCING this anxiety/a depression."
"I have" can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tightness in the chest is something I've experienced as well. When we are anxious, we tense and clench. Recently, I heard Joe Hudson suggest keeping your attention in your feet. When I do this it reduces my anxiety level immediately. Another powerful tool (for many things) is Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I own a Truvaga and recommend. Also immediate benefits and no side effects.
Sounds like you're already doing breathwork. Kundalini yoga, specifically spinal energy series, is one I do 2-4 times per week, because I like it. Balances endocrine system, and great for the back.
Another cool thing is 30+ second hugs. I'd be curious, if the chest tightness/shortness of breath happens, what would be the effect of a 1 minute hug. Even with a tree. Yes I've done this, and it feels great.
Chris, these recommendations and strategies are fantastic. Thank you. Noted them all down for exploration. Your point on reframing it from "I have" to "I am experiencing" is also great. Totally agree on that message. I've recently come across the idea of 6+ second hugs -- but I bet that extending it to 30+ seconds would also help.
This comment is a wealth of knowledge and experiments to try. Thanks so much for sharing. Excited to play with this next time *I'm experiencing* anxiety/stress.
Thank you for this reply.
Big smiles right now (:
Sharing on this matter, what I've learned from the trenches, is something I've wanted to do for a while and it brings me joy to do so.
Thanks for writing this post. Clearly it's resonating with people.
Our self-stories are so sneaky. Thanks for sharing your personal way of navigating it.
Stories and mindsets are things I write about a lot, too, because I'm so interested in the way the mind latches onto them and reshapes our entire existence.
I'm really into the work of Alia Crum for this exact reason. She's at Stanford and studies how specific positive mindsets can heal us and propel us forward -- even when we're in really bad spots. Linking her profile here: https://profiles.stanford.edu/alia-crum
Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Rose. You are so right that the stories we latch onto shape our existence. Great point. Excited to follow along your work!
Will check out Alia as well. Hadn’t heard of her before so I greatly appreciate you sharing her name. Thanks again for reading and dropping in the comments here!
thanks for sharing that link Rose.
Anxiety is a tricky thing. There’s so much stress in today’s world, it’s difficult not to be anxious. Just read that A-Fib is becoming an issue for younger people. Diagnosis is not always easy for either.
Great point, Anthony -- there are a lot of things in the world that can stress us out. For that reason, I'm extremely particular about my inputs: never watch the news, stay off social media, avoid people who are heavy consumers of the two. That's scary if A-fib is being caused by stress and anxiety -- I hadn't heard about that. Diagnosis is important for genuinely inflicted individuals, but diagnosing too early can be deadly as labelling someone's problems often strips away their sense of influence or control over them. And far too often diagnosis leads to unnecessary medication.
Thanks so much for reading and showing up in the comments here Anthony, I greatly appreciate and value your thoughts.
I’m not suggesting that stress or anxiety are the cause of A-Fib, but certainly could be contributing factors! But, we should know that we all need to relax more! Life is too short to be a tight as banjo string!
No matter the cause, certainly unfortunate if there’s an uptick in A-fib whatever the cause. Completely agree with that: life is far far too short. Have to loosen up and remember that if we aren’t having fun and enjoying ourselves to some degree, something needs to change. Or what are we here for!
Over diagnosis is a problem! Agree 100%. Treatment can be an issue too. Sometimes it’s trial by error!
So much good info to cogitate upon.. for myself, it’s been helpful (and this has been only for the past 3 or 4 years)to become “comfortable” with my own tears. Cathartic and allowing me to “reframe” whatever set me off. ✌️
Thanks so much Martha :)
I love that you found a strategy that works for you -- thanks for sharing! I completely agree that learning to be comfortable with the sensations your body is experiencing is key. When I can't get a full breath, my tendency is to ignore it and push on. But accepting and acknowledging it has been a much better approach in successfully managing feelings of stress.
Greatly appreciate you reading and leaving a comment here!
Good morning Jack! Such perspective and wisdom in today’s essay. Our bodies can tell us so much more than our brains can comprehend. And as you point out, our job is to become adept at listening, inquiring, and re-listening.
“Now when my chest tightens and my breath shortens in response to stress and uncertainty, I see it as a signal coming from my body rather than my brain. …And ask myself kind questions to understand what it is telling me.”
So insightful. So important. 🙏
Thanks so much for your readership and continued support and insights, James. Means a lot to me. On a podcast the other day, I head this bit of information: "the human body sends 11 million bits per second to the brain for processing, yet the conscious mind seems to be able to process only 50 bits per second." Our bodies contain ancient wisdom that we have largely lost touch with. Leaning into and listening to their whispers is an incredibly valuable skill. One that I am slowly honing, I hope.
Thanks again for showing up in the comments and have a lovely Thursday!
Love how you reframed those internal dialogues. I can relate to this, improving my self talk the past few years has led to significant growth. Thanks for sharing Jack!
Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words, Brian. How we speak to ourselves matters so much. And the words we select are a critical part of that self talk. Change the inner monologue and you can open up new possibilities for your life — it’s something I try to work on every day, though I’m sure I still limit myself in ways I don’t realize.
So so important to talk about this Jack, thank you for writing about it! I completely agree. The stories we define for ourselves become the story we actually live. So we have to be very careful about how we see ourselves and our situation. This was a good reminder for me, especially with all the challenges that came this week.
Thanks for reading and dropping in the comments Linart! Glad to hear this one resonated… it’s a reminder I need often too. The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, it’s a lesson worth cementing in our head.
I've recently been reading this book called Psycho Cybernetics. The book talks a lot about shaping our self image. One of the exercises is to spend 30 minutes visualizing yourself reaching your goal. Tried it for 5 mins and I felt a lot more confident after! I think this is exactly what your ideas are saying.
Visualization is also extremely powerful... that's a great reminder for me as it's not a tool I've used much over the last couple years. Thanks for the nudge, going to start reintegrating that tool into my life. Especially for long runs.
Interesting! Hoping it helps - I'm also experimenting with it and curious to see what happens.
I agree about the importance of mindset regarding health. I think mindset is one of the biggest influences on health. It's like those cases you hear about people who believe so strongly they are sick that their bodies react accordingly. It is not to say that mindset can alleviate actual illnesses necessarily, but it certainly can play a part in recovery and adjusting your mood and feelings. What a really interesting piece you have here, Jack! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment, Bethel! As you point out, the power of our mindset cannot be understated. The better we learn to control it and channel a stronger internal monologue, the better off we will be mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Thanks again for sharing your perspective!
After studying NLP back in the 1990s, I am well aware of how language matters. I have always thought that I don't get sick, I don't have time for it. And I don't. My doctor is always wanting me to get flu injections and I have refused because I don't get sick.
I love that Robyn and I completely agree. Though it may sound "woo woo," I believe that changing your mindset towards illness and disease from the common cold to cancer can have a real, tangible impact on your physical health as well as you mental and emotional health, of course. Although I'm no doctor so I don't know much about the flu injections part :)
Thanks so much for reading and leaving your 2 cents!
...story is so powerful it can cure or break you...what a great reminder to own our author...
Thanks, CansaFis... it can cure or break. And we are our own author -- love that.
For me you've said the most important thing in your subtitle. "Is your story hindering you or helping you?"
Early in our relationship my wife and I stumbled on a movie based on Tom Stoppard's work called "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead." It's an absurdist comedy that in many ways makes no sense, but a lot of no-sense at the same time. I remember it as a shift in our relationship because it properly bent out of shape our belief in "truth". We were transported into a framework of, "It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us. We've been making up the story that works for us in relationship ever since. I think that's a pretty good definition of mental health, as long as what you make up isn't harming anybody else.
"...Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that what is taken to be true. It's the currency дf living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
This is gold, Rick: “"It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us.”
I also love how you applied this to relationships because I was thinking about all of this from an individual point of view. But the stories you tell as a couple in your relationship is just as important. Truth is only what is taken to be true is another great reminder. Besides the laws of physics, you get to decide what’s true in your life.
Greatly appreciate getting your insights and views and reactions to my writing. It’s insanely valuable and I am lucky to hear your stories, experiences, and wisdom.
I love your addition of "besides the laws of physics" - an important caveat. But I've also heard a few stories about some pretty unusual dudes I got to spend time around when traveling in India that who seemed to have successfully challenged some of the usual story/laws of physics as well.
I suppose elevated physical fitness can make you less susceptible to the laws of physics… ever so slightly. You have very much piqued my interest though. How did they challenge these universal laws?
I knew you were going to ask that. I promise to share some stories in person when we get to meet one day.
I can't wait :)
As I read through this, I thought “I bet Jack would like the book Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier” and then saw your Notes about it being inspired by her podcast episode. I really appreciated this one, Jack. It also reminded me of a running jokey wife and I started with another couple about “the stories we tell ourselves”. While it’s an inside joke, your essay made me chuckle thinking about it.
Makes me so happy this struck a chord with an inside joke — that’s beautiful, thanks for sharing Jeremy.
That podcast was filled with insights for me. I should think about reading her entire book because from listening to her speak, it seems like she has a lot of important but unpopular opinions. Would 100% read this before I become a dad which is a ways down the line.
Thanks so much for reading and showing up here in the comments, Jeremy. Means a ton to me that you find some value in these posts.
She does have some very unpopular thoughts on things, but it doesn’t make them less right.
Completely agree. If anything, the unpopular points--granted they are sound, logically structured, and have the stats to back them up--are more worth listening to because they aren't the ideas we've been conditioned to believe in.
There's the saying that if all of your beliefs are socially accepted or not disagreeable to someone, then you have no beliefs of your own but have just been conditioned by news and the media (something like that, I'm paraphrasing on memory).
Love that!
Great essay Jack. I totally agree on the importance of labels—if we self diagnose, that label can become part of our identity and everything begins to feel like evidence confirming our diagnosis. I’ve been trying to be more precise with the language I use, being aware of how much thought affects words but words also affect thought.
Also great spiky point of view. Taking a stand and not mincing words. Love it.
Thanks for your support pal. “Spiky point of view and not mincing words” are high compliments… something I should strive for more in my writing.
Completely agree with everything you said there. And you said it well. Labels and language matter a lot. The words we use in our own heads matter a lot.
Thanks again pal for reading and dropping in the comments here. Appreciate you.