Love this, Jack. Our stories so often hinder us—until we notice them. It's such a valuable thing to keep remembering. I'm very interested in that podcast about bad therapy—will check it out. Always so happy to see and read your posts. 🙏
The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale, was a lifesaver for me, as well as evidence through practice of the power our minds have over so, so much in our lives. I used to self talk “I will have an excellent day” over and over early in the morning prior to heading out to face the world (seemed a little mumbo jumbo hocus pocus at first) but I most often did! Even recently, taking 12 + hour direct flights, I created an excited, appreciative, positive mindset towards what has previously been an excruciating experience. Lo and behold, the flights have been more than tolerable, have passed quickly as I embraced the experience as a great opportunity to be blessed with. You are so right, Jack! The approach we take towards life’s challenges are integral to how we experience them. The mind is indeed the most powerful tool we possess, for better or worse.
Our self-stories are so sneaky. Thanks for sharing your personal way of navigating it.
Stories and mindsets are things I write about a lot, too, because I'm so interested in the way the mind latches onto them and reshapes our entire existence.
I'm really into the work of Alia Crum for this exact reason. She's at Stanford and studies how specific positive mindsets can heal us and propel us forward -- even when we're in really bad spots. Linking her profile here: https://profiles.stanford.edu/alia-crum
Anxiety is a tricky thing. There’s so much stress in today’s world, it’s difficult not to be anxious. Just read that A-Fib is becoming an issue for younger people. Diagnosis is not always easy for either.
So much good info to cogitate upon.. for myself, it’s been helpful (and this has been only for the past 3 or 4 years)to become “comfortable” with my own tears. Cathartic and allowing me to “reframe” whatever set me off. ✌️
Good morning Jack! Such perspective and wisdom in today’s essay. Our bodies can tell us so much more than our brains can comprehend. And as you point out, our job is to become adept at listening, inquiring, and re-listening.
“Now when my chest tightens and my breath shortens in response to stress and uncertainty, I see it as a signal coming from my body rather than my brain. …And ask myself kind questions to understand what it is telling me.”
I think it's key to reframe from "I have anxiety/depression/X label" to "I am EXPERIENCING this anxiety/a depression."
"I have" can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tightness in the chest is something I've experienced as well. When we are anxious, we tense and clench. Recently, I heard Joe Hudson suggest keeping your attention in your feet. When I do this it reduces my anxiety level immediately. Another powerful tool (for many things) is Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I own a Truvaga and recommend. Also immediate benefits and no side effects.
Sounds like you're already doing breathwork. Kundalini yoga, specifically spinal energy series, is one I do 2-4 times per week, because I like it. Balances endocrine system, and great for the back.
Another cool thing is 30+ second hugs. I'd be curious, if the chest tightness/shortness of breath happens, what would be the effect of a 1 minute hug. Even with a tree. Yes I've done this, and it feels great.
So so important to talk about this Jack, thank you for writing about it! I completely agree. The stories we define for ourselves become the story we actually live. So we have to be very careful about how we see ourselves and our situation. This was a good reminder for me, especially with all the challenges that came this week.
I agree about the importance of mindset regarding health. I think mindset is one of the biggest influences on health. It's like those cases you hear about people who believe so strongly they are sick that their bodies react accordingly. It is not to say that mindset can alleviate actual illnesses necessarily, but it certainly can play a part in recovery and adjusting your mood and feelings. What a really interesting piece you have here, Jack! Thanks for sharing!
After studying NLP back in the 1990s, I am well aware of how language matters. I have always thought that I don't get sick, I don't have time for it. And I don't. My doctor is always wanting me to get flu injections and I have refused because I don't get sick.
For me you've said the most important thing in your subtitle. "Is your story hindering you or helping you?"
Early in our relationship my wife and I stumbled on a movie based on Tom Stoppard's work called "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead." It's an absurdist comedy that in many ways makes no sense, but a lot of no-sense at the same time. I remember it as a shift in our relationship because it properly bent out of shape our belief in "truth". We were transported into a framework of, "It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us. We've been making up the story that works for us in relationship ever since. I think that's a pretty good definition of mental health, as long as what you make up isn't harming anybody else.
"...Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that what is taken to be true. It's the currency дf living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
As I read through this, I thought “I bet Jack would like the book Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier” and then saw your Notes about it being inspired by her podcast episode. I really appreciated this one, Jack. It also reminded me of a running jokey wife and I started with another couple about “the stories we tell ourselves”. While it’s an inside joke, your essay made me chuckle thinking about it.
Great essay Jack. I totally agree on the importance of labels—if we self diagnose, that label can become part of our identity and everything begins to feel like evidence confirming our diagnosis. I’ve been trying to be more precise with the language I use, being aware of how much thought affects words but words also affect thought.
Also great spiky point of view. Taking a stand and not mincing words. Love it.
Love this, Jack. Our stories so often hinder us—until we notice them. It's such a valuable thing to keep remembering. I'm very interested in that podcast about bad therapy—will check it out. Always so happy to see and read your posts. 🙏
I've said it for years. Pick your thoughts, pick your life. Our mind is a powerful tool.
The Power of Positive Thinking, by Norman Vincent Peale, was a lifesaver for me, as well as evidence through practice of the power our minds have over so, so much in our lives. I used to self talk “I will have an excellent day” over and over early in the morning prior to heading out to face the world (seemed a little mumbo jumbo hocus pocus at first) but I most often did! Even recently, taking 12 + hour direct flights, I created an excited, appreciative, positive mindset towards what has previously been an excruciating experience. Lo and behold, the flights have been more than tolerable, have passed quickly as I embraced the experience as a great opportunity to be blessed with. You are so right, Jack! The approach we take towards life’s challenges are integral to how we experience them. The mind is indeed the most powerful tool we possess, for better or worse.
Our self-stories are so sneaky. Thanks for sharing your personal way of navigating it.
Stories and mindsets are things I write about a lot, too, because I'm so interested in the way the mind latches onto them and reshapes our entire existence.
I'm really into the work of Alia Crum for this exact reason. She's at Stanford and studies how specific positive mindsets can heal us and propel us forward -- even when we're in really bad spots. Linking her profile here: https://profiles.stanford.edu/alia-crum
Anxiety is a tricky thing. There’s so much stress in today’s world, it’s difficult not to be anxious. Just read that A-Fib is becoming an issue for younger people. Diagnosis is not always easy for either.
So much good info to cogitate upon.. for myself, it’s been helpful (and this has been only for the past 3 or 4 years)to become “comfortable” with my own tears. Cathartic and allowing me to “reframe” whatever set me off. ✌️
Good morning Jack! Such perspective and wisdom in today’s essay. Our bodies can tell us so much more than our brains can comprehend. And as you point out, our job is to become adept at listening, inquiring, and re-listening.
“Now when my chest tightens and my breath shortens in response to stress and uncertainty, I see it as a signal coming from my body rather than my brain. …And ask myself kind questions to understand what it is telling me.”
So insightful. So important. 🙏
Nice. Thanks for sharing, Jack.
I think it's key to reframe from "I have anxiety/depression/X label" to "I am EXPERIENCING this anxiety/a depression."
"I have" can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tightness in the chest is something I've experienced as well. When we are anxious, we tense and clench. Recently, I heard Joe Hudson suggest keeping your attention in your feet. When I do this it reduces my anxiety level immediately. Another powerful tool (for many things) is Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I own a Truvaga and recommend. Also immediate benefits and no side effects.
Sounds like you're already doing breathwork. Kundalini yoga, specifically spinal energy series, is one I do 2-4 times per week, because I like it. Balances endocrine system, and great for the back.
Another cool thing is 30+ second hugs. I'd be curious, if the chest tightness/shortness of breath happens, what would be the effect of a 1 minute hug. Even with a tree. Yes I've done this, and it feels great.
So so important to talk about this Jack, thank you for writing about it! I completely agree. The stories we define for ourselves become the story we actually live. So we have to be very careful about how we see ourselves and our situation. This was a good reminder for me, especially with all the challenges that came this week.
I agree about the importance of mindset regarding health. I think mindset is one of the biggest influences on health. It's like those cases you hear about people who believe so strongly they are sick that their bodies react accordingly. It is not to say that mindset can alleviate actual illnesses necessarily, but it certainly can play a part in recovery and adjusting your mood and feelings. What a really interesting piece you have here, Jack! Thanks for sharing!
After studying NLP back in the 1990s, I am well aware of how language matters. I have always thought that I don't get sick, I don't have time for it. And I don't. My doctor is always wanting me to get flu injections and I have refused because I don't get sick.
...story is so powerful it can cure or break you...what a great reminder to own our author...
For me you've said the most important thing in your subtitle. "Is your story hindering you or helping you?"
Early in our relationship my wife and I stumbled on a movie based on Tom Stoppard's work called "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are dead." It's an absurdist comedy that in many ways makes no sense, but a lot of no-sense at the same time. I remember it as a shift in our relationship because it properly bent out of shape our belief in "truth". We were transported into a framework of, "It's all made up" no matter what you do, so we might as well make up a story that works for us. We've been making up the story that works for us in relationship ever since. I think that's a pretty good definition of mental health, as long as what you make up isn't harming anybody else.
"...Everything has to be taken on trust; truth is only that what is taken to be true. It's the currency дf living. There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it is honoured. One acts on assumptions. What do you assume?”
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
As I read through this, I thought “I bet Jack would like the book Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier” and then saw your Notes about it being inspired by her podcast episode. I really appreciated this one, Jack. It also reminded me of a running jokey wife and I started with another couple about “the stories we tell ourselves”. While it’s an inside joke, your essay made me chuckle thinking about it.
Great essay Jack. I totally agree on the importance of labels—if we self diagnose, that label can become part of our identity and everything begins to feel like evidence confirming our diagnosis. I’ve been trying to be more precise with the language I use, being aware of how much thought affects words but words also affect thought.
Also great spiky point of view. Taking a stand and not mincing words. Love it.