Crap Sandwich

Mental Bookends to make the hard things easier

Crap Sandwiches: A tool in your consistency toolkit

The tarnished rubber band of my FitBit reverberates off my wrist.

It’s 6:15 a.m. 

My feet hit the cold mahogany-coloured floor as I beeline towards the kitchen to fill the racecar-red kettle. As water boils for coffee, I push aside the heavy glass sliding door and step onto the balcony in my t-shirt and shorts.

Crisp March air fills my lungs and wraps around my body as I draw slower and deeper breaths to calm my panicking nervous system. I stretch my shivering arms towards the slowly lightening early morning sky.

When I step inside, I’ll pull on a sweater and sip steaming coffee from my maple leaf engraved mug.

Sitting at the darkened oak kitchen table, fueling on jet-black joe, I light a candle and peel open my navy blue journal. I scribble the date and time in the top left-hand corner and start writing. My anxieties and ambitions, worries and wants, to-dos and triumphs flood the page.

I journal until my head is clear then pour a second coffee and flip open my laptop, concern quietly percolating. Will I wrestle with writer's block? Or say something in an interesting way?

As the clock nears 10 a.m., I feel as relieved as a student handing in their final exam before Christmas break. I showed up. Wrote something. The hardest work of the day is behind me.

I pick up my phone for the first time and smile at missed messages for a few minutes before lacing up my shoes and heading out for a run or a lift. 

On days when I’m sore or can see snow swirling outside, I don’t feel like leaving the cozy confines of the condo.

The resistance to start is strong.

But I remember the endorphin hit I get from exercise and the chocolate blueberry protein smoothie waiting for me at the end. Five minutes into my workout I forget why I had such a hard time starting.

The cold shower that follows my post-training smoothie makes me want to crawl back into bed. But my first warm meal of the day sits on the other side of breathing through a few seconds of cold water.

After breakfast, I timidly wade back into the daunting work of writing. Uncertain whether I’ll be able to produce something I’m proud of but comforted by the long post-work walk that marks the end of my day.

*

Runs.

Workouts.

Cold showers.

Mentally demanding work.

My days are woven with discomfort. Tasks that are good for me but are intimidating to start.

The first five minutes of a writing session, pulling on my shorts and lacing up my shoes, turning the shower faucet from soothing warmth to a pulse-raising cold. I enjoy these things once I’ve begun because of the instant mood spike and delayed sense of accomplishment.

But I still face resistance to start every day.

I sandwich uncomfortable habits between two things I look forward to — candlelit journaling, coffee, smoothies, breakfast, small phone breaks, and long walks — to make showing up and starting easier. 

These relaxing moments serve as Mental Bookends for the hard things. I know the uncomfortable task will end and I have something to look forward to once it does.

If I can start, I’ll be consistent 99% of the time.

Making a Crap Sandwich helps me get over the initial suckiness of starting the uncomfortable thing. 

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Jack

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