The Lion Tracker book was such a good read. It made me smile to know we are into some of the same books.
I cant offer any sage career advice because Im in a similar boat as you. But what I can say has been helpful to me is realizing nobody knows what theyre doing. I just look at every job as a little experiment. Nothing is permanent. If you try it out for a while and it sucks, there's always another opportunity around the corner.
It might be my favourite book. So many wonderful lessons in there and a great guide for how to lead your life. And you're so right, Arman. Some really great reminders in there for me. Working in past jobs, it's so apparent that no one knows what they're doing. We're all just stabbing at things, figuring it out on the fly.
My motto for now is to keep listening, moving, and experimenting. Like you said, nothing is permanent and you don't know what opportunities the future has in store.
Thanks so much for reading and dropping your wisdom here. Appreciate you pal.
im not sure if i have any wisdom worth following but i couldnt help but share from my own experiences because ive been exactly where you are multiple times. i love your experimental approach to life. very inspiring!
Yes yes yes. As someone who's spent decades not really knowing what I'm doing, not knowing what's next, I'm finally (since my 40's, maybe) sitting with that as the natural state of affairs. +1 to treating jobs as experiments, and finding the next thing around the corner. I've spent my whole career that way, and wouldn't change a thing. It often feels like the next thing (whatever that may be) won't happen, and yet for smart folks full of passion like you and Jack, unexpected opportunities will arise, again and again.
Thanks so much for adding this, Rob. Your career story is so interesting and provides me much solace while reminding me of an important lesson: you don't need to know what lies in the future (living with uncertainty is okay) so long as you keep doing, trying, learning, iterating. No hurry, no pause. Everything happens slowly and then all at once. Will certainly come back and read your words here at future crossroads in my life.
Life lessons often feel like failure. Hopefully, you will never “be” your job and hopefully your job will match your passionate expertise. Like the turtle, slow and steady wins the race. Your gut, all the great fuel you pour into your heart, your mind and your body WILL take you where you are destined to be. Loser? That word couldn’t be further from the truth.
Rob, it's so nice to see you expressing wisdom and truth to Jack. Loser—so far from the truth. And yet, we all feel it from time to time. It's like an old "tape" gets activated in our heads. I find the best antidote is not to tell ourselves we're a winner but to be aware of the tape starting in our heads—such that we're not a loser if we're aware of how counterproductive the thought is.
Jack this is one of your finest pieces I've read. The metaphor of the poppies, the lion tracker's perspective, and your insightful heart are woven together so beautifully.
James, the lesson you shared here is worth remembering: recognizing the tape we're rolling in our head (our internal monologue) is the necessary first step to A) Understanding how our relationship-to-self is impacting us, and B) Changing the words we use to improve that relationship.
You are right. The thought "I'm a loser" is extremely counterproductive: it's self-pity, it's an admission of defeat, and it's a boxed growth mindset. Yet, because most of us fear ending up a loser (likely stemming things that happened to us in childhood and perceived societal expectations), we can be sensitive to failure.
I've never thought of myself as a loser. But I'd be lying to say that I invariably act with strength and courage when met with moments of struggle, disappointment, failure, and questioning. Momentary feelings of defeat, if channeled and not dwelled upon, can act as kerosene for future growth.
Thank you for your very kind words on this post. Hearing that this is one of my finest pieces yet is strong and helpful signal; I'm trending in the right direction. Rick Lewis has unknowingly enabled me to write better stories, to write in an honestly human way. Or at least that's what I strive to do a little bit better each week.
Very wise words: "Life lessons often feel like failure." Thanks, Dad. Looking back, I know that to be true yet it can be hard to remember in the midst of failure. Sometimes life doesn't give you what you want so it can give you what you need. Slow and steady indeed, extend the time horizons and alleviate the pressure on yourself by caring less what other people think and not worrying about perceived societal expectations. At least these are a few of the things I've been telling myself as of late. Appreciate your readership, love, and support as always. Means the world to me.
...a million congrats on the poppies...the interviewing process for "jobs" is ruthless man...i crap you not when I say I have applied for over 800 jobs which led to 700 first line rejections, 100 first round interviews, 30 second round interviews, a dozen 3rd round group interviews, a handful of c-suite introductions, and zero job offers...ruthless...so my advice is always do you...they don't care about you until they do and in a moment's notice they might not again...learn as much as you can, offer as much as you are willing, and always be available to learn and to teach...some get to control their careers, others are controlled by them, be instead controlled by learning and growing...so I have been rejected 800+ times...i have also been accepted infinitely more (well except for jobs...only worked around 80 of those so far)...
Growing poppies, and gardening in general, has been a blast. So cool to see life come from something so seemingly lifeless.
Thanks for sharing your work wisdom with me. They say misery loves company but really it's just nice to know I'm not alone in the struggle. It's a ruthless numbers game. I love this approach: "learn as much as you can, offer as much as you are willing, and always be available to learn and to teach." That's such a great perspective and one that will take you far whether it lands you in a career or in running a business of your own.
On a broader note, writing essays like this reminds me that I'm not alone. That we are all, as people, dealing with the same handful of struggles. And the more honestly + humanly I write (as Rick Lewis may say), the more people I can connect with which makes this ride of life so much more ridiculously rich.
Thanks for taking the time to read my work and share your thoughts. I enjoyed reading every word of what you have to say.
Loved waking up with my coffee and reading this piece. You have captured real time the art of BEING in the unknowing. It takes mindful practice. With care and attention, just as your poppies, you will move forward one moment at a time.
Laurie, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a kind comment. Knowing that my writing was enjoyed over a coffee gives me a warm feeling inside :)
Your words remind me of the importance of being in the moment. Nearly all of our humanly problems can be solved by coming back to the moment we are in. Being in the moment of the unknown is indeed a skill, one that takes care and attention to develop, as you wrote.
Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment. Means a ton to me.
Wow, I recall being in this state when I was your age (long ago), and then I recall interviewing and preparing to hire job candidates … and not always doing the best job of meeting the commitments I made to get back to people. What I always tell job seekers is that the world they are in is not the world the hiring team is in, and that any “failures” in communication are not about the candidate, but about the hiring team, who is likely busy as hell and trying to figure out what they are doing. Anyway, hang in there on that front.
BUT, I was also surprised how much this nicely structured essay resonated with me in my new life stage, where I’m retired and trying to figure out quite what to do with myself now that I no longer chase money and advancement. I need to be more like your poppies and just take what the world has to offer. Like your essay, for example. Well done.
Tom, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment. You make such a good point: "the world they are in is not the world the hiring team is in." As the candidate, the job feels like the most important thing in the world to you while you're waiting to hear back. But for the hiring team, it's one task of many to check off. I've been on both sides of the hiring process and absolutely agree with and relate to your point. Thank you for sharing that perspective.
Makes me so happy to hear that this resonated with you as someone in a completely different stage of life -- that's a massive compliment and I greatly appreciate it. I hope that in this next phase of your life you can trust that the universe will deliver all you need so long as you keep trying, experimenting, learning, and readjusting. Good luck and best wishes in your retirement and thanks again for this lovely comment.
You're very welcome. It's really interesting to me to see that some of the problems or puzzles that we try to solve in our lives present themselves again and again, in different guises, as we grow older. So to see you present the puzzle you were working through was really cool. I see echoes in the guy I presume to be your brother, Tommy Dixon. You guys are both working these issues as "younger" men, so the particulars of your circumstances differ from mine, but they're the same damned problems! (I don't mean this to sound at all patronizing, just to recognize the different circumstances.) It's why we read others, isn't it, to see the world through different eyes?
Such a good point, Tom. The problems we struggle with as a unique individual seem to repeatedly pop up just hiding behind different disguises, as you point out. Yes, Tommy is my brother! And I completely agree: the beauty of reading the work of others is to see ourselves from a new perspective. It's often through that perspective that we can leave behind the ways that no longer serve us to find a new, better path with the hope that we learn to leave old problems behind and find new, better problems as we move through life.
“As paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track."
I want to read this book now:)
I've also been on a quest to seek clarity too Jack. I've felt a sense of floundering in terms of purpose, and even using the word career feels too big and overwhelming with its implications.
Last week a Zen teacher told me something along the lines that it is in the lack of motion that motion in life comes. So in my head it made me realize that rutts are a necessary part of the journey before clarity in life comes.
Hang in there Jack— I see you penning these words, so IMO you're a winner!
It’s a great book, and I have a feeling you’d really like it. Thanks so much for sharing that, Jen. Such wise words from that Zen master that I hope both you and I can put into practice in our lives. I really appreciate your readership and support, thank you very much for being here :)
Oh man, I know how tough this could feel. But I'm happy to see you embracing a growth mindset on this, Jack.
My application for my dream job got rejected last year. But it became a silver lining because I saved myself from doing corporate, which I see now to be a tough fit for me.
Not that I think this is what will happen to you. But I guess what I'm saying is that there is so much possibility in the world for us. We can even create our own careers. Like you, I don't know where I'm headed, but I know how to get there. I believe we'll do alright in this journey, my friend. Even if we do feel like losers sometimes.
It seems so universal that our biggest rejections later, in hindsight, become the most important, pivotal turns in our lives. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of that, Linart.
You are absolutely right. There is infinite possibility and even thought we may not know where we are heading, we'll get there as long as we keep listening, adjusting, acting. Thanks so much for reading and for your kinds words. I appreciate you.
My definition of a winner is someone who is capable of starting a conversation that matters. I'm looking at this comment section and the threads that have sprouted up like your poppies within it and it's a full-on garden of conversation. Also, I'm so impressed by the leaps and bounds of your storytelling, how inviting the doorways of your humanness are becoming every time you write. For me your most inspiring summary of this process was right here in the comment section.
"Writing is such a powerful process for understanding where you've been, who you are, what's impacted you, and where you're going next. It's like your mind is a cavernous library full of loose, unnumbered pieces of paper, each containing a story, stacked as high as a mountain. Writing is the act of sifting through them, putting a number on the page so as to order and make sense of them, and then presenting them to the world. There is no more powerful way to understand yourself and the world around you."
Shortly after writing this post, I typed in my notes: "Your best writing doesn't invoke responses from the most people, it invokes insightful responses from the right people."
You, along with the others who commented here, are the right people who shared very insightful comments. So thank you very much, Rick. Measuring your writing by its ability to start conversations that matter is a great outlook and by far more important than the number of likes and views you get.
I was thinking of you as I wrote that comment. So happy that you found it and it resonated with you. Thanks for reading and supporting, Rick. I appreciate you.
Beautiful one man. Really. Living like this is taking a stand against old societal narratives that tell us the opposite:- "If you don't know where you're going, you're a loser and you're fucked." "If you aren't running a mile a minute, you're stagnating and stuck." Keep trusting yourself and your inner guidance. I'm not sure what the gift is, but I know for sure you have one...a big one. You're a gift to people like me and the world by just being who you are and living the life you want to live...not the one others tell you to live. Just like the poppy seed.
Jeremy, thank you for writing this comment. The deeper our friendship becomes, the more I value your words and the deeper they strike in my psyche.
Love what you’re saying. I learned this in elementary school but it took me years to put into words: the most enjoyable version of yourself to be and most valuable version of yourself to offer others is the genuine, authentic you. No one can be you better than you can; so I suppose you answered my question. My unique gift is remembering to show up as myself in all that I do. To not lose the core of who I am to external influences. I suppose that is the unique gift we all have to offer.
I’m so happy you enjoyed the essay and I greatly appreciate your kind and supportive words. Thank you, brother.
Such a very honest and relatable post. It's fortunate you're having this revelation at 25. It takes many of us many more years and many more regrets to reach this point in our thought.
Amanda, thank you so much for reading and for your incredibly kind words here. I’m grateful and extremely lucky to have had so many educative experiences and to have crossed paths with so many wise people—any revelation I have is because of them.
Even more I love the process, the intention: taking a difficult thing you’re going through and having the courage to share it, despite the vulnerability of it, knowing that sharing is healing and nothing you’ve experienced is alien to anyone who read it.
I’ve found publishing to always be the final stage of letting go.
Thanks Tommy, as someone who hasn't missed an essay of mine, your words are always some of my most treasured. I love how you encapsulated this process. That is, at it's core, what makes good writing.
Writing is such a powerful process for understanding where you've been, who you are, what's impacted you, and where you're going next. It's like your mind is a cavernous library full of loose, unnumbered pieces of paper, each containing a story, stacked as high as a mountain. Writing is the act of sifting through them, putting a number on the page so as to order and make sense of them, and then presenting them to the world. There is no more powerful way to understand yourself and the world around you.
Thanks again for reading and for your thoughtful words. Knowing you found value in this essay fills me with joy.
Thanks so much for reading and for your words here, Jeremy. Your comment reminds me of an important lesson: We think that we'll reach a point where life feels all figured out (whatever that means) but it never really does. We are constantly changing, growing, and iterating and as we start new chapters in our lives there's a good chance that we face moments of doubt and uncertainty, ideally decreasing with time.
It means a great deal to me that you read my essays and leave kind comments. Thank you very much, my friend.
Love where this piece ended up, and this just nails it for me: "Like the poppies, I must have faith that even if I don’t know how far along I am, even if I don’t yet understand what my compounded daily efforts will amount to, I am in the invisible process of growing into whatever I might become."
Wonderful piece, as always. Excited to see where all of your efforts and talents take you next.
Thanks so much, Rob. And thank you for helping me in the process of writing this with your kind and thoughtful edits. I appreciate your friendship, support, and guidance -- means a ton to me. I'm excited to see where I go next, and equally enthusiastic to see where your current venture lands.
The Lion Tracker book was such a good read. It made me smile to know we are into some of the same books.
I cant offer any sage career advice because Im in a similar boat as you. But what I can say has been helpful to me is realizing nobody knows what theyre doing. I just look at every job as a little experiment. Nothing is permanent. If you try it out for a while and it sucks, there's always another opportunity around the corner.
(note to self)
It might be my favourite book. So many wonderful lessons in there and a great guide for how to lead your life. And you're so right, Arman. Some really great reminders in there for me. Working in past jobs, it's so apparent that no one knows what they're doing. We're all just stabbing at things, figuring it out on the fly.
My motto for now is to keep listening, moving, and experimenting. Like you said, nothing is permanent and you don't know what opportunities the future has in store.
Thanks so much for reading and dropping your wisdom here. Appreciate you pal.
im not sure if i have any wisdom worth following but i couldnt help but share from my own experiences because ive been exactly where you are multiple times. i love your experimental approach to life. very inspiring!
Yes yes yes. As someone who's spent decades not really knowing what I'm doing, not knowing what's next, I'm finally (since my 40's, maybe) sitting with that as the natural state of affairs. +1 to treating jobs as experiments, and finding the next thing around the corner. I've spent my whole career that way, and wouldn't change a thing. It often feels like the next thing (whatever that may be) won't happen, and yet for smart folks full of passion like you and Jack, unexpected opportunities will arise, again and again.
Thanks so much for adding this, Rob. Your career story is so interesting and provides me much solace while reminding me of an important lesson: you don't need to know what lies in the future (living with uncertainty is okay) so long as you keep doing, trying, learning, iterating. No hurry, no pause. Everything happens slowly and then all at once. Will certainly come back and read your words here at future crossroads in my life.
Life lessons often feel like failure. Hopefully, you will never “be” your job and hopefully your job will match your passionate expertise. Like the turtle, slow and steady wins the race. Your gut, all the great fuel you pour into your heart, your mind and your body WILL take you where you are destined to be. Loser? That word couldn’t be further from the truth.
Rob, it's so nice to see you expressing wisdom and truth to Jack. Loser—so far from the truth. And yet, we all feel it from time to time. It's like an old "tape" gets activated in our heads. I find the best antidote is not to tell ourselves we're a winner but to be aware of the tape starting in our heads—such that we're not a loser if we're aware of how counterproductive the thought is.
Jack this is one of your finest pieces I've read. The metaphor of the poppies, the lion tracker's perspective, and your insightful heart are woven together so beautifully.
James, the lesson you shared here is worth remembering: recognizing the tape we're rolling in our head (our internal monologue) is the necessary first step to A) Understanding how our relationship-to-self is impacting us, and B) Changing the words we use to improve that relationship.
You are right. The thought "I'm a loser" is extremely counterproductive: it's self-pity, it's an admission of defeat, and it's a boxed growth mindset. Yet, because most of us fear ending up a loser (likely stemming things that happened to us in childhood and perceived societal expectations), we can be sensitive to failure.
I've never thought of myself as a loser. But I'd be lying to say that I invariably act with strength and courage when met with moments of struggle, disappointment, failure, and questioning. Momentary feelings of defeat, if channeled and not dwelled upon, can act as kerosene for future growth.
Thank you for your very kind words on this post. Hearing that this is one of my finest pieces yet is strong and helpful signal; I'm trending in the right direction. Rick Lewis has unknowingly enabled me to write better stories, to write in an honestly human way. Or at least that's what I strive to do a little bit better each week.
Very wise words: "Life lessons often feel like failure." Thanks, Dad. Looking back, I know that to be true yet it can be hard to remember in the midst of failure. Sometimes life doesn't give you what you want so it can give you what you need. Slow and steady indeed, extend the time horizons and alleviate the pressure on yourself by caring less what other people think and not worrying about perceived societal expectations. At least these are a few of the things I've been telling myself as of late. Appreciate your readership, love, and support as always. Means the world to me.
...a million congrats on the poppies...the interviewing process for "jobs" is ruthless man...i crap you not when I say I have applied for over 800 jobs which led to 700 first line rejections, 100 first round interviews, 30 second round interviews, a dozen 3rd round group interviews, a handful of c-suite introductions, and zero job offers...ruthless...so my advice is always do you...they don't care about you until they do and in a moment's notice they might not again...learn as much as you can, offer as much as you are willing, and always be available to learn and to teach...some get to control their careers, others are controlled by them, be instead controlled by learning and growing...so I have been rejected 800+ times...i have also been accepted infinitely more (well except for jobs...only worked around 80 of those so far)...
Growing poppies, and gardening in general, has been a blast. So cool to see life come from something so seemingly lifeless.
Thanks for sharing your work wisdom with me. They say misery loves company but really it's just nice to know I'm not alone in the struggle. It's a ruthless numbers game. I love this approach: "learn as much as you can, offer as much as you are willing, and always be available to learn and to teach." That's such a great perspective and one that will take you far whether it lands you in a career or in running a business of your own.
On a broader note, writing essays like this reminds me that I'm not alone. That we are all, as people, dealing with the same handful of struggles. And the more honestly + humanly I write (as Rick Lewis may say), the more people I can connect with which makes this ride of life so much more ridiculously rich.
Thanks for taking the time to read my work and share your thoughts. I enjoyed reading every word of what you have to say.
...heck yeah brother...and if anyone ever needs someone to rec you...got you...
Means the world, will certainly keep that in mind. You’re a good guy, thank you.
Loved waking up with my coffee and reading this piece. You have captured real time the art of BEING in the unknowing. It takes mindful practice. With care and attention, just as your poppies, you will move forward one moment at a time.
Laurie, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a kind comment. Knowing that my writing was enjoyed over a coffee gives me a warm feeling inside :)
Your words remind me of the importance of being in the moment. Nearly all of our humanly problems can be solved by coming back to the moment we are in. Being in the moment of the unknown is indeed a skill, one that takes care and attention to develop, as you wrote.
Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment. Means a ton to me.
Wow, I recall being in this state when I was your age (long ago), and then I recall interviewing and preparing to hire job candidates … and not always doing the best job of meeting the commitments I made to get back to people. What I always tell job seekers is that the world they are in is not the world the hiring team is in, and that any “failures” in communication are not about the candidate, but about the hiring team, who is likely busy as hell and trying to figure out what they are doing. Anyway, hang in there on that front.
BUT, I was also surprised how much this nicely structured essay resonated with me in my new life stage, where I’m retired and trying to figure out quite what to do with myself now that I no longer chase money and advancement. I need to be more like your poppies and just take what the world has to offer. Like your essay, for example. Well done.
Tom, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful comment. You make such a good point: "the world they are in is not the world the hiring team is in." As the candidate, the job feels like the most important thing in the world to you while you're waiting to hear back. But for the hiring team, it's one task of many to check off. I've been on both sides of the hiring process and absolutely agree with and relate to your point. Thank you for sharing that perspective.
Makes me so happy to hear that this resonated with you as someone in a completely different stage of life -- that's a massive compliment and I greatly appreciate it. I hope that in this next phase of your life you can trust that the universe will deliver all you need so long as you keep trying, experimenting, learning, and readjusting. Good luck and best wishes in your retirement and thanks again for this lovely comment.
You're very welcome. It's really interesting to me to see that some of the problems or puzzles that we try to solve in our lives present themselves again and again, in different guises, as we grow older. So to see you present the puzzle you were working through was really cool. I see echoes in the guy I presume to be your brother, Tommy Dixon. You guys are both working these issues as "younger" men, so the particulars of your circumstances differ from mine, but they're the same damned problems! (I don't mean this to sound at all patronizing, just to recognize the different circumstances.) It's why we read others, isn't it, to see the world through different eyes?
P.S. Subscribed to your writing and can't wait to start exploring your work. It looks fantastic.
Thanks for subscribing; I’ll do the same. I promise you this: I won’t overburden your inbox!
Such a good point, Tom. The problems we struggle with as a unique individual seem to repeatedly pop up just hiding behind different disguises, as you point out. Yes, Tommy is my brother! And I completely agree: the beauty of reading the work of others is to see ourselves from a new perspective. It's often through that perspective that we can leave behind the ways that no longer serve us to find a new, better path with the hope that we learn to leave old problems behind and find new, better problems as we move through life.
Thanks for writing and helping me think :)
“As paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track."
I want to read this book now:)
I've also been on a quest to seek clarity too Jack. I've felt a sense of floundering in terms of purpose, and even using the word career feels too big and overwhelming with its implications.
Last week a Zen teacher told me something along the lines that it is in the lack of motion that motion in life comes. So in my head it made me realize that rutts are a necessary part of the journey before clarity in life comes.
Hang in there Jack— I see you penning these words, so IMO you're a winner!
~Jen
It’s a great book, and I have a feeling you’d really like it. Thanks so much for sharing that, Jen. Such wise words from that Zen master that I hope both you and I can put into practice in our lives. I really appreciate your readership and support, thank you very much for being here :)
Oh man, I know how tough this could feel. But I'm happy to see you embracing a growth mindset on this, Jack.
My application for my dream job got rejected last year. But it became a silver lining because I saved myself from doing corporate, which I see now to be a tough fit for me.
Not that I think this is what will happen to you. But I guess what I'm saying is that there is so much possibility in the world for us. We can even create our own careers. Like you, I don't know where I'm headed, but I know how to get there. I believe we'll do alright in this journey, my friend. Even if we do feel like losers sometimes.
It seems so universal that our biggest rejections later, in hindsight, become the most important, pivotal turns in our lives. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of that, Linart.
You are absolutely right. There is infinite possibility and even thought we may not know where we are heading, we'll get there as long as we keep listening, adjusting, acting. Thanks so much for reading and for your kinds words. I appreciate you.
My definition of a winner is someone who is capable of starting a conversation that matters. I'm looking at this comment section and the threads that have sprouted up like your poppies within it and it's a full-on garden of conversation. Also, I'm so impressed by the leaps and bounds of your storytelling, how inviting the doorways of your humanness are becoming every time you write. For me your most inspiring summary of this process was right here in the comment section.
"Writing is such a powerful process for understanding where you've been, who you are, what's impacted you, and where you're going next. It's like your mind is a cavernous library full of loose, unnumbered pieces of paper, each containing a story, stacked as high as a mountain. Writing is the act of sifting through them, putting a number on the page so as to order and make sense of them, and then presenting them to the world. There is no more powerful way to understand yourself and the world around you."
I LOVE this Jack. So well said.
Shortly after writing this post, I typed in my notes: "Your best writing doesn't invoke responses from the most people, it invokes insightful responses from the right people."
You, along with the others who commented here, are the right people who shared very insightful comments. So thank you very much, Rick. Measuring your writing by its ability to start conversations that matter is a great outlook and by far more important than the number of likes and views you get.
I was thinking of you as I wrote that comment. So happy that you found it and it resonated with you. Thanks for reading and supporting, Rick. I appreciate you.
Beautiful one man. Really. Living like this is taking a stand against old societal narratives that tell us the opposite:- "If you don't know where you're going, you're a loser and you're fucked." "If you aren't running a mile a minute, you're stagnating and stuck." Keep trusting yourself and your inner guidance. I'm not sure what the gift is, but I know for sure you have one...a big one. You're a gift to people like me and the world by just being who you are and living the life you want to live...not the one others tell you to live. Just like the poppy seed.
Jeremy, thank you for writing this comment. The deeper our friendship becomes, the more I value your words and the deeper they strike in my psyche.
Love what you’re saying. I learned this in elementary school but it took me years to put into words: the most enjoyable version of yourself to be and most valuable version of yourself to offer others is the genuine, authentic you. No one can be you better than you can; so I suppose you answered my question. My unique gift is remembering to show up as myself in all that I do. To not lose the core of who I am to external influences. I suppose that is the unique gift we all have to offer.
I’m so happy you enjoyed the essay and I greatly appreciate your kind and supportive words. Thank you, brother.
Such a very honest and relatable post. It's fortunate you're having this revelation at 25. It takes many of us many more years and many more regrets to reach this point in our thought.
Amanda, thank you so much for reading and for your incredibly kind words here. I’m grateful and extremely lucky to have had so many educative experiences and to have crossed paths with so many wise people—any revelation I have is because of them.
Loved this piece Jack. Really.
Even more I love the process, the intention: taking a difficult thing you’re going through and having the courage to share it, despite the vulnerability of it, knowing that sharing is healing and nothing you’ve experienced is alien to anyone who read it.
I’ve found publishing to always be the final stage of letting go.
Thanks Tommy, as someone who hasn't missed an essay of mine, your words are always some of my most treasured. I love how you encapsulated this process. That is, at it's core, what makes good writing.
Writing is such a powerful process for understanding where you've been, who you are, what's impacted you, and where you're going next. It's like your mind is a cavernous library full of loose, unnumbered pieces of paper, each containing a story, stacked as high as a mountain. Writing is the act of sifting through them, putting a number on the page so as to order and make sense of them, and then presenting them to the world. There is no more powerful way to understand yourself and the world around you.
Thanks again for reading and for your thoughtful words. Knowing you found value in this essay fills me with joy.
All I can say is that at 43, I remember what it was like when I was 25.5 having similar thoughts. And as 28.5. And at 35.5. And at 43.
At the same time, I’ve always moved forward. I’m still here, better for it, but not always better.
Thanks so much for reading and for your words here, Jeremy. Your comment reminds me of an important lesson: We think that we'll reach a point where life feels all figured out (whatever that means) but it never really does. We are constantly changing, growing, and iterating and as we start new chapters in our lives there's a good chance that we face moments of doubt and uncertainty, ideally decreasing with time.
It means a great deal to me that you read my essays and leave kind comments. Thank you very much, my friend.
You’re absolutely right!
Love where this piece ended up, and this just nails it for me: "Like the poppies, I must have faith that even if I don’t know how far along I am, even if I don’t yet understand what my compounded daily efforts will amount to, I am in the invisible process of growing into whatever I might become."
Wonderful piece, as always. Excited to see where all of your efforts and talents take you next.
Thanks so much, Rob. And thank you for helping me in the process of writing this with your kind and thoughtful edits. I appreciate your friendship, support, and guidance -- means a ton to me. I'm excited to see where I go next, and equally enthusiastic to see where your current venture lands.