Résumé virtues vs. Eulogy virtues

Learning to live in accordance with what matters most.

Résumé virtues vs. Eulogy virtues

“Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.”

― Kevin Kelly, Founding Editor of Wired

Kobe Bryant was arguably the greatest basketball player ever.

Over his career, Bryant netted 33,643 points, dropped 8,378 free throws, and forced 4,010 turnovers. All three are records for his position as a shooting guard.

He scored 81 points in one night to set the record for the most points in a single game in the modern NBA.

He scored the most points ever in a single arena—16,161 points at the Staples Center.

He was the oldest player to score over 60 points in a single game.

He was the youngest player to feature in an NBA All-Star game.

Off the court, he raised and donated money to causes ranging from after-school programming for students from low-income families to children fighting terminal illnesses, and launched The Kobe And Vanessa Bryant Family Foundation dedicated to improving the lives of youth and families in need.

These are but a few of his charitable endeavors.

Kobe was also just as good a businessman as he was a basketball player.

He founded a venture capital firm that invested in over forty businesses, launched Granity Studios, an Academy Award-winning multimedia company, and co-founded the popular sports drink brand BodyArmor.

These are but a snippet of Kobe’s endless list of awe-inspiring résumé virtues.

There have been few more outwardly successful people to walk the face of the Earth.

But after Kobe died in that tragic helicopter crash, none of his accomplishments seemed to matter.

The eulogy his wife gave contained but one line attributed to his basketball career: “Kobe was known as a fierce competitor on the basketball court.”

She didn’t reminisce over his NBA records, his philanthropic achievements, or his business success.

The rest of her speech was about who Kobe was as a person, how he made those around him feel, and what he did for those he loved. 

His eulogy virtues. 

Résumé virtues are the accomplishments that we list on our CV whereas eulogy virtues are the things that our family and friends will say about us when we’re gone.

To the people that mattered most, his family and close friends, Kobe wasn’t the greatest basketball player of all time, an impactful philanthropist, or a powerful businessman.

He was a loving father and husband and a supportive friend that made those around him better versions of themselves.

When Kobe was gone, those who loved him didn’t care about his accomplishments.

They cared about the person he was while he was alive and the positive impact he had on them through their relationship.

What matters most to the people you love, who are the only people that matter in the end, is the person you have been and the things you have done for them and others.

While résumé virtues should have a place in our lives, they should not be our only priority nor the most important. 

Every day, you self-author part of your eulogy with your actions.

Thinking about the type of eulogy you are writing for yourself can help you discern if too much of your time and energy is being directed toward building a longer and more impressive résumé while leaving your eulogy empty and hollow.

With this mental reframe, we can ensure that the person we are today is the person we want to be remembered as by those we love.

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Related Reads:

• Deathbed Decision Making

• Managing Regret For A Happy Life

• The Road to Character by David Brooks

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Jack Dixon