I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I haven’t written you since August.
There have been times when I wanted to. And more times I’ve felt twinges of regret for not writing. But I just haven’t had the time. I’ve been busy.
Busy, living.
After being voluntarily unemployed for 14 months, the job I started in October took me from a cottage in the country to a condo in the city. As I entered this new phase of life, I knew my schedule would need some major surgery.
I would no longer be able to afford an hour of pre-dawn journalling and reading or focused four-hour writing sessions. Nor would I be able to hit 11am workouts followed by lake swims and mid-afternoon meals.
In my unemployment, I could make it rain seconds and minutes and hours. But with this new thing called a job, I would no longer be a time millionaire. No, things would need to change.
Writing was an essential daily activity for nearly 3 years of my life. But the cost of continuing to write became too great. As a knowledge worker, I spend at least 37 hours per week sitting, hammering away on a keyboard. To keep publishing here, for you, would be to spend another 5 to 10 hours a week doing the same thing on a different laptop.
To continue writing would be to spend too much of my life sitting sedentary on a screen. The opportunity cost of writing – spending my free time digitally engaged rather than engaged in the real living breathing world – was just too high.
So I made the hard decision to put writing on pause.
With the time I reclaimed from the digital underworld, I started training Brazilian jiu-jitsu 5 to 7 times per week. The combination of cognitive engagement, physical movement, and real-time feedback that jiu-jitsu delivers scratches my brain in just the right way. It’s extremely addictive, even as a sucky beginner.
Though I miss writing, I’m proud of myself for removing it from my routine.
You see, I have an excessively thick skull and this is the first time in my life I’ve successfully followed an important rule: you cannot infinitely add to your life without first subtracting.
Before adding something new, something old must be removed. Often, that means removing something good for something great. Or removing one great thing to add something equally great because it better fits the current season of your life.
For me, in this season, adding a job and jiu-jitsu meant removing writing.
I’ll still write you when I can, I promise. Just on a sporadic schedule. And anything I send you will be as worth your time as I can make it.
From Toronto with Love,
Jack
Huge respect for the integrity of your decisions Jack. You do not need to write often or especially eloquently for the inspiration of your example to be received. I'll always been in your court, cheering you on, whether you're posting an essay or learning how not to get thrown off a jiu-jitsu mat. Best to you friend.
Jack - pure delight to see a missive from you pop up this morning. What a profile in authenticity, wisdom, and stand-taking you are.
One of the best questions we can continually ask ourselves is: “What is it time for, now?” The choices you are making in your life reflect answers of integrity.
You’re a wonderful example for us all.
PS: I hope your job is going well.