6-Second Sunday: On admiration, being useful, and managing expectations

6 Ideas. 6 Second Skim. 6 Minute Read.

Happy 6-Second Sunday!

Here are 6 ideas I’m applying that take 6 seconds to skim and 6 minutes or less to read…

Overview

1. Formula I’m Pondering: 3 Ingredients For Happiness

2. Advice I’ve Applying: Be Useful

3. Necessity I’m Remembering: Romantic Admiration

4. How I’m Living Longer: Experiential Lifespan Extension

5. Practice I’m Deploying: Do Nothing, Embrace Boredom

6. Quote I’m Rereading: On the expectations of others

Let’s dive in.

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Formula I’m Pondering: 3 Ingredients For Happiness

Happy people have a balanced abundance of three ingredients: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.

Enjoyment

I think of enjoyment along three vectors: 

• Where we spend our time – Location

• How we spend our time – Job and Activities

• Who we spend it with – Life Partner, Family, and Friends

Enjoyment is pleasure plus elevation. Pure pleasure will bring ruin. But adding elevation to pleasure by doing meaningful things or doing things with people we love creates sustainable enjoyment.

Satisfaction

As Mick Jagger points out in (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction, satisfaction is fleeting.

Satisfaction arises after achieving an outcome or meeting a goal but rapidly dissipates as we set our sights on the next thing.  

Humans are outcome-driven creatures. We derive much of our positive emotion from giving ourselves the responsibility of working towards a goal and then taking action to attain it.

For that reason, it’s important to always have a goal to work towards.

Purpose

Your purpose is your meaning in life.

The happiest people regularly contribute to something bigger than them whereas the most miserable people are always focusing on themselves.

The ability to detach, zoom out, and gain perspective on the bigger picture allows you to stop focusing on yourself for a while. In turn, you gain relief from being self-centred and have a chance to think about what your greater purpose in the world is.

These two brain states are the “I self” and the “me self.”

• The “I self” is outward-looking and observational. It’s the state that gives you relief from the comparing mind and the clarity to point towards your purpose in the world.

• The “me self” is the comparing mind, constantly scanning your surroundings and comparing your job, money, career, friends, house, commute, and so on to those around you or on social media.

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Advice I’ve Applying: Be Useful

My very close friend R.K. recently gave me the best and most succinctly worded piece of advice I’ve heard in a long time: